Asian dad and egypt

so this dream  i had a couple of weeks ago and i guess i like the idea of it but i can't really remember it. Its the future. And grr lets just say i only remember some vague pictures in my head. Ok so my dad  - who for some reason is a asian middle aged man - has been arrested and he is being framed for something he didn't do and i know he is innocent. So i can't remember how but i break him out and we get in a modern day car - which looks like a bullet, and it rides along these tracks which are actually just red laser beams.- and they go everywhere and in all directions. So we get in a car - which in my dream we call bullets. And we speed off but cops come after us - i don't remember what they look like. Flying angels i think on motorbikes. Black wings, helmets and harley davidsons. Any way so my dad tried to tell me not to break him out before but i did it anyway, and now he is telling me to leave him behind and to get away myself - but i refuse to so i head out on the beam that gos into the centre of the desert, which leads straight to this ancient egyptian pyramid. 

But i don't know that yet. So i don't really remember what happens in between me fleeing with my dad and the next part but ill just explain the next part. 

Im in the desert and my dad is not there, but this lady who is a reporter is. She is really pretty with dark brown hair, eyes and white skin. Im hiding from the police who are more like soldiers of the government - that is literally what they are like in my dream - not police cops though they are referred to as cops. And the government have this power though nobody knows if its magical or not, and this pyramid is one of the main land marks of the country as a symbol of their power. So Im pretty much petrified that somebody will find me but the lady reporter has befriended me and assured me she can get help for me. We are standing close to the pyramid - but we are hidden by this gigantic hill next to the pyramid. She walks around the hill and i follow, and as we come around the side of the hill it opens up and i realise this huge hall has been carved out from the side of this hill- maybe it could be called a small mountain. It has pillars lined at the entrance and she tells me to wait here and goes inside. For some reason i feel so unsafe here, I'm terrified and i can feel the evil all around even in the air. I can see her inside the cave - hall thing and its eerily lit up - it looks like it should be lit up by fire torches but there is no flame or light bulb in sight, and yet the light is a soft honey glow that flickers. She is talking to someone but i can't see anyone in there - which is weird since the place is huge - and i mean bloody huge, i can't understand why she is talking- in a weird language that sounds a bit like singing. She calls me in and when I finally reach the middle, i hear this rumble and this roar in the distance - at the back of the hall which is not lit up and goes on forever. I know I'm in trouble now and i turn to scream at her that she tricked me, but she has already run out of the place and i can see her on the outside standing there smiling with her beautiful yet at the same time ugly face. I know i will die if i don't get out, i have no idea what is in there but i know she has led me to be its food or something. I start running to the exit but the ground starts shaking like a earth quake beneath me, and the ceiling starts coming down and the walls sink into the earth, and the closer i get to the brilliant bright white light of the entrance, the smaller and closed off it becomes until finally, i reach it and its closed off. There is no light now and I'm left alone in the dark, its pitch black and i can't see anything, and thats when i hear this sound, the sound of billions and millions of bugs scuttling over rock, i have no idea what they are but i start running, i can't see where I'm going but i run anyway, thinking there must be another way out, but thats when i feel them, they start crawling up my legs and i can feel them in my pants and thats when i realise - they are ants! I have ants in my pants. Sounds funny to me now but in the dream it was terrifying, they were crawling all over me and up my body, biting me and I'm trying to scratch at my pants and I'm jumping up and down and hitting my legs and arms to get them off when i remember I've got matches in my pocket - because i suddenly decided in my dream i smoked though i had no cigs on me. I get them out, fumble with the one match inside the box then finally light it and thats when all the ants finally scuttle away, and in the light i can see them surrounding me, just a metre from me, their black bodies shining in the light and surrounding me like a never ending sea of black, the view of them fading into the darkness around me. I realise the flame is getting closer to my fingertips  i can hear the thing in the distance roaring and getting closer, and feel the thump thump thump. The light is about to die and i take in my surroundings and realise i am about to die. I feel a choking feeling at the back of my throat but stop myself from crying. The light burns my fingers and i fling it to the ground, but before it goes out i hear a little voice next to me - there on the ground - get it! I look and in the second before the light goes out i bend down and grab it - a yellow lighter. Don't ask me how or why, its just there ok? The second the light goes out i hear the scuttling of billions of ants racing towards me - but then i light the lighter and they stop - and start scuttling away from the light again. I look around on on the ground next to me i see a black crow - and i pick it up and it starts talking to me, it tells me its name - some hard name i can't remember and its a prince, and he turned himself into a crow when he last got lured into here, so the egyptian demon god won't get him, and he has been stuck in here ever since. He says he knows a way out, but his wings are broken so i will have to carry him. He tells me what way to go, and as i head in that direction i can hear the ants scuttling as they try to get out of the way of the oncoming light, and following behind me. Its like they know once the light goes out again, they will have me. Don't ask me how or why they didn't eat prince. 

So I'm walking fast with the lighter in my hand into the darkness and he tells me to walk ahead, and then left then right and it seems to go on forever him telling me what direction to go in and yet the darkness is never ending, i never come to a wall. He tells me to run now and we can hear that the demon thing has finally reached where the entrance is and has discovered i am gone. Its roaring and i can feel the ground tremble and vibrate with the sound, and then thump thump thump as it starts running to find me. I run faster while Prince continues to tell me which way to go then suddenly i turn a corner and I'm in a room. I can't really remember this part now, but it was my favourite part since it reminded me of my dreams of when i was a kid. When i was a kid i believed i could fly, and my dreams and reality used to get so mixed up i have these memories of flying but they mustve been dreams. So this part of the dream was like a memory, and i was in this house that i had been before - but i think it is only a memory of a dream i had as a little kid. The walls are all white stone, and its hard to describe the place. Im in a room, there are girls there and they are my friends, they ask me to play, and they are walking towards me from each direction, and i want to stay, it seems like the most perfect place in the world and i could be happy here, forever more. But then i hear Prince whisper in my ear - its not real, its a dream, you need to get out of here NOW! FLY!!1 and i look away from my friends face and towards the doorway on the other end. I can't remember how to fly but then i can feel a piece of my soul break - like a inner wall coming down and I'm flying towards the doorway, over the girls who scream in rage , reaching up to get me. I go through the doorway into the next white room which has a row of windows. The windows are square but there is no glass, and they look out on the country side and i can see a steam train going past in the distance, smoke billowing behind it. I almost fly out the window when i remember - even if i fly out the window i will still be in the realm of the deamon, so i need to find the way out! Even though outside that window it seems like heaven to me, and even now remembering it breaks my heart. I wish i could be there, the place of my childhood. 

Anyway, i fly down the room towards the doorway, and after this i can't quite remember how i get out of that part. The only thing i can remember next is I'm running in the darkness again but this time its like I'm in a maze, there are walls all around me, and Prince is telling me to turn left, right, right then left.  He suddenly yells "stop!" and so i do, then he says walk fast now until you come upon the wall. I walk two steps and the wall is there, then he tells me i need to find a certain rock that is slightly jutting out more than the others, and push it. I feel around the rocks but i can't find it! and I'm panicking and crying now, i can hear the deamon coming tump thump thump louder and closer behind me, and i know we are almost out of time, , but just before i lose all home i find it and push it, and next thing i know the awl opens up and i can see the beautiful glow of the sun out on the sands of the desert. Then i just bolt out that exit, with Prince on my shoulder screaming at me to go, and i can feel the brush of the deamons fingertips on my back as it reaches out the doorway to get me, then it roars. But it can't follow me in the light, and even though i know this i just keep running, going and going, hours going by until i finally look behind me and the pyramid is far in the distance behind me. Then i collapse on the ground clutching myself, as i struggle for air and my heart pounds fast in my chest. Prince falls from my shoulder to the ground and then he sort of rolls over onto his feet, and looks up at me. I bust into tears which makes my breathing worst. After a while i recover myself and while still gasping for air, prince tells me we need to keep going. I tell him i need to rest but he tells me i need to get away as fast and as further away as possible. I deamon will be after me as soon as the sun has sunk below the horizon, but the night is short here and he will not have as much time to search for us as we have to get away from him, so he will do what ever it takes to catch up with us so we can't tarry. I grudgingly agree and we go on our way. the sun is hot, the heat from the sand burns my legs even though I'm wearing shoes, and when the sun finally goes down Prince says we can stop. I ask why don't we keep on going and he says we need to stay still in the darkness, since movement will be easier to spot for the demon. We  settle behind a particularly large sand dune, and prince helps me to bury myself in the warm sand as the night settles in. Everything is a blue tint at this point. I fall asleep and for some reason i wake up half way through the night. I open my eyes and everything in the desert is lit up by the brilliant light of the moon. There are thousands of stars in the sky and not a cloud in sight. I try to settle down again when i suddenly realise there is a black form only 20 feet away from me, it looks like a man! Im terrified and frozen with fear as i think this might be the demon, I'm too scared to even call out to Prince, and then the form starts walking towards me!!! Im about to scream when the form says my name, and the voice sounds so familiar i hesitate. Then i recognise where i heard the voice and say "it can't be!!! Prince?" 

"yes its me" i can see him smile in the moonlight. 

"but .. how?"

he shrugs then looks up towards the beautiful big moon. 

"i made a deal with the moon, she turned me back to my original form and healed my arms."

"so you were a boy.. all along?" i can't believe it, i was just getting used to having a talking pet. 

"i think I'm a bit too old to be called a boy don't you think?"

(i remember this convo only for that line LOL, my brain is weird)

Um i can't remember whart really happened after this, but i remember where my brain intended this dream to go. I was going to fall in love with Prince, who is like a son of this powerful magical guy who ruled over this realm - and the ones who lived in that realm ruled over our world - like the moon and the sun and the night and day. But the deal he made with the moon wasn't really a good one. I think he couldn't go back to his kingdom - ever even though he was heir to the throne. I can't remember a thing after that though which sucks. 

My other dream which i had a few nights ago - I've almost completely forgotten it but there is just one part i want to remember - but first the background - i was two people in this dream - one a boy and one a girl, the boy being the older brother to the girl. The girl looked more like me with strawberry ginger hair and the boy had blond curly ringlets. The brother had his friends over and i can't remember why or anything but we were at this beach area, and the brother and his friends decided they wanted to get back to the house. But like the beach was like this - ill start with the waves hitting the beach, then from the water if you walked up the beach you would come out of the water onto the sand then up a bit further you had to stop dead in front of this cliff that went on forever on either side. The cliff was made entirely of the sand on the beach - hard to explain. So the brother and his friends got all their alpine ropes out then flung them up the cliff then started climbing the ropes up, and the girl cried up to her brother she couldn't throw the rope up and needed help, and the brothers friends just laughed as the brother yelled down figure it out by yourself. He cared about her but at that moment he was really angry at her. So they all climbed up the cliff that went on into the clouds and sitting on top of the clouds was the house. And since it was a cloudy day you couldn't look down and see the beach. So the sister kept trying to throw the rope up but it just wouldn't catch on anything. Then she tried it pathetically one more time, feeling as though she wanted to cry and it finally caught! But only half way up but she thought she would figure out what to do next when she got there. So she started climbing up, taking two arm lengths then her grip slipped and she let go of the rope and fell! But instead of hitting the ground - she fell right though it! The only trace she left behind was a slight indent in the space where she fell. 

So up in the house the boys were mucking around joking with each other when the brother decided to go have a shower, and just as he was walking into there, one of his friends asked him where his sister was, that she was taking a while, and he suddenly felt bad for leaving her behind so he decided to go help her up. But when him and a few of his mates climbed down on there ropes and poked their heads out from under the clouds, they couldn't see anyone at the bottom of the cliff. They couldn't understand where she had went, and so they started climbing down to look for her, when one of the boys (the fattest one) slipped and started to fall while still holding his rope. They all watched in horror as he fell to the ground in slow motion, but then they all got a shock when he fell through the sand and then his rope finally pulled firm. They heard him call out "I'm ok!" then finally "fuck you guys should see this! Im above a rain forest!" 

after that i can't really remember the dream, which sucks since it was a really cool one, especially what happened before this part that I've just written. 

But i think i remember vaguely what was to happen - the fairies had kidnapped the little sister, and the boys went on a hunt to find her. dude i wish i could remember my dreams better! not just little bits but the whole thing!

Reminder to myself

Im going to go back and rewrite my old dreams - they are a nightmare to read! Starting with the oldest to the latest. Maybe ill turn them into a story or something i dunno. Bleh.

Fight to the death and a card game

i can't really remember what happened exactly - i probably could if i tried but it was a nightmare so i don't really want to. Ill remember whatever i need to to just keep it in context but it aint that great.

so what happened was this - i was at my old primary school - lol but anyway, i was with this lady and i knew her well apparently. she had curly-ish blonde hair and she was all hippy looking - she was wearing a beautiful skirt, a white top and she looked about in her 40s. She was looking terrified, so terrified that she couldn't even think straight, she was just sitting there, frozen and i was trying to convince her to run. Thats when my boss turned up. My boss had really white skin, black hair and black eyes, actually on looking back she looked a bit like joan jett. She was wearing this really black flowy gown that trailed behind her, i i don't remember why but i was terrified of her. But I'm happy with myself in this dream since i was exactly like myself in real life - i was scared of her but if anything happened i wasn't afraid to fight fucking back. So she was looking for this lady and i knew it, so i stepped in front of the lady to hide her from my boss's view. My boss asked me where the lady was, and told me to find her or i was in trouble (its funny though because when we talked to each other no words were spoken, i don't even remember her mouth moving, its like we just talked through sensing each others feelings - no actual words were formed even in my head at all). I told her id find her so don't worry (my boss never noticed her behind me - i know she assumed it was one of my young mates). So she left and i started trying to get the lady to move again and i finally got her to get up and start running across the tennis court towards the playgrounds - but we skipped past the playground and for some reason the set of stairs down to the field was right next to it - and we headed for it. We were half way down when i looked back from where we just were - and i saw my boss and her soldiers coming round the corner, and i knew we were pretty much dead. That is when death turned up - i knew i was the only one who could see him and for some reason i knew him well. He was in his robe, and i couldn't see his face, i don't remember if he was a skeleton or not and he was holding his (weapon) and he told me it was time for the lady who i was trying to help get away to die. And i looked at him and told him to fuck off. No one was going to die here tonight. And he tilted his head at me - i knew that he had cuz i saw his hood tilt slightly and he was like she has to die tonight and you know that, and i cant stop it no matter what i do. But i yelled at him to FUCK OFF and I'm not letting ANYONE die tonight and i will fight him as much as it takes to make sure she doest die! And i knew that he just looked at me pitifully and shook his head, and i felt a bit scared since i had a crush on death and i didn't want him to hate me for yelling at him lol. Then he disappeared and i yelled at the lady to go cause i knew the soldiers were tracking her scent and would be here in a sec (they all were still at the place where we just left so the thing with Death must have all happened in a second). She left and i ran back because i could see our soldiers were running from the playground into the tennis courts, and they were going to fight soon so i had to make sure my niece and nephew weren't in the tennis court. I ran to the front of our soldiers getting ready to fight and i found them, and yelled at them to get to the playgrounds, i grabbed their hands and pulled them along as i ran towards the playground, but then i realised i knew our soldiers were amateurs and my boss's were skilled and so i had to help them and i knew since i was a skilled archer (lol in my dreams) the best place for me to be to help our soldiers would be to get to the highest point in the playground and attack from there, but i wanted to give the soliders encouragement and i didn't want them to think they were alone - i wanted them to know where i was so let go of my nieces and nephews hands and told them to run into the playground and hide and ill be there as soon as possible. So i ran back to the soliders to tell them but thats when my boss's soldiers started attacking. They were goblins, ogres and sprites, all green and grey flesh and they were huge as they ran to us, i had a split second though to decide to stay - i thought even though id be better help being a archer i can't run now or my soldiers will think I'm a coward - and they would prob run too so i got my sword out and ran towards them to fight and clashed into the goblins, etc. It took me three huge slashes to take down one, and when i looked around i saw that it took longer for my soldiers to fight back since they weren't as skilled as me, and it only took the goblins, etc one slash to take down one of my soldiers. My soldiers were getting killed left right and centre and i thought "shit!!" cause i knew we were getting slaughtered. I thought i knew i should have fell back to fight as a archer and this was the wrong decision and thats when i realised it was too late now, there were only three of us left and as i looked around i saw my soldiers get taken down, then i looked in front of me and saw a ogre come towards me holding his sword up ready to swipe and i thought well at least i died fighting!!! And also that i was going to meet death in a mo. and thats it. there is more and i could probably remember it if i tried but i don't want to.



i remember the first time i dreamt that i died, i can't really remember the dream entirely since i prob dreamt it when i was six, but basically there was this clown rag doll, and it was bigger and taller than me. I think my aunty had one at her house and that was what i was dreaming. I wasn't afraid of clowns or anything, its just this clown had a crush on me, and i told him i didn't like him so he stalked me and killed me and i just remember this intense fear of being afraid of the clown since i didn't know i was dreaming and i didn't want to die. But after i died My dream suddenly turned black and white and i could see myself murdered in the clowns arms. And yeah, the dream went on from there in black and white. really weird lol



but i had this day dream before i went to sleep last night. I don't know if thats the right thing to call it but i don't know any better phrase, since i was dreaming but i wasn't asleep, i was just letting my imagination run wild, but at the same time i was falling asleep and i actually have no conrol over my imagination, about what i want to dream about, so its not really like day dreaming. Any way the dream was that i was playing cards with my mum, we were playing snap and i could see the cards in my hands were like the cards in alice in wonderland - they had heads, arms and legs and were holding spears and they looked up at me as we played. Any way, i went to go put a card down, but suddenly my arm and my hand was a skeleton and the card i put down was a tarot card, it depicted death in his robe with his sheath, and he was holding out his hand and cutting it off with his other. The sky was grey and he stood on green grass, there was a white lamb next to him on the ground and a rose hanging upside down above him with the sun on the top left side of the card, only half showing and the other side was a waning or waxing moon, meh the only part showing was the left side of the moon, the rest was dark and that was in the top right corner. Then my mum who was suddenly not my mum anymore but a skeleton grinning at me in a purple top hat and red bow tie and purple suit with a red shirt, put down another tart card and it had on it a demon, smiling up at me while crouching on the world, facing towards me, the whole card was blue while the demon and world and stars were outlined in black and the demon turned red then laughed at me and jumped up at me. But as it jumped towards me it turned int a spider and then into a fish with razor sharp teeth. But it just swam sideways into the back of my mind while other creepy things swam behind it and i must've fell asleep then cause i can't remember after that.

I just wanted to add two things - my mum had fell asleep in her chair at the tv the other night, and i got up at one to wake her up. I started singing soflty to wake her up then i just said loudly and clear "mum" and she looked at me then said, i heard you, i thought you were on guard duty. i said guard duty for what and she said the chickens, and then she said thats right it cant get wet itll get runny. i said what? the chicken manure. then you cant burn it. I was so confused!

also - i dreamt my friend was in my next door neighbors house - she lived there with her family  - but on the inside it looked like my next door neighbors house, but on the outside it was a extremely rich house - except for the kitchen. The kitchen was at the front of the house too which was funny. I was on my way out of the house since they were all starting to sit down in the dining room to eat dinner. I had a bad feeling that I should get out of there asap when this cute guy who was there with me, said "oh, i forgot my phone in the dining room, ill just go to get it!" And i said "no~ get it tomorrow - ill tell you why later" but he was like "yeah right, i paid $800 for that phone, im getting it now in case it goes missing." So i said "fine but im coming with you! And we have to be quick!" Since i thought my friend wouldn't kill me - since we are friends - but i knew the guy didnt have much of a chance. We walked into the dining room and the smell of blood hit me - making me feel sick. My friend and her family were sitting at the dining room table eating spaghetti bolognaise - and i couldnt help but thinking it looked like blood and noodles. I knew we had to leave immediately - so we grabbed his phone then ran out of the house. I had to explain nicely to her family of course before we left. Once we were out of the house i felt relieved - we just survived dinner with vampires :D

Day dreams~~

so last night i can't actually remember my dream - but i remember how i started off day dreaming before i fell asleep - i was fishing :D but this is going to be a bit difficult to explain! i was fishing but i was trying to catch a star (they were like moving around, looking so pretty but they wouldn't come near my hook! I was sitting on a cloud - but i was upside down - it was like gravity didn't exist cause i was sitting under the cloud but that was on top to me, and my feet were hanging off the edge and i was swinging them, looking down into the sea of stars, and when i looked up i could see earth and the ground above haha, and all the clouds had fluffy white wings and they were flying upside down compared to the earth - but to me they were the right way up. And everything had a blue tint to it as it was brilliantly lit up by the huge moon amongst the stars. it looked so big and was so close i felt like i could jump onto it. When i looked up to the ground (i was like in a planes aerial view from the earth - like 40,000 ft above or wat evs) i decided to go up(down?) to it and so i put my fishing rod on the cloud (which was like the fishing rods i used to have as a kid - me and my brother used to find really long sticks, tie a fishing line to the end of it then at the other end of the line a hook and sinker :] used to work a charm!) and i jumped into the sky (but remember the sky to me is earth) and instead of gravity pulling me back down to the cloud - i started to fall with a incredible speed to the earth and i could feel it pulling on every part of my body like my heart was going to stop. i think i fell asleep then cause i can't remember anything else.

i wish i could remember more dreams. I do remember bits and pieces of certain dreams, but they become so fuzzy, and to just write down little bits of dreams i remember rather than the whole story lines seems to be a waste of time and space.. i just hate unfinished stories, or stories that finish with no real ending, they leave like a hole in your heart and a sense of loss or longing, and i can't bare that feeling! I also hate it when dreams don't resolve themselves, dreams seem to take a hold over your heart, whether they are good or bad. I guess you could say i like going to sleep at night because i get excited about what i am going to dream that night, but when it turns out to be a nightmare or if it doesn't finish, it just feels so horrible and i feel lost. Its like fir the rest of the day i don't know what to do with myself because I'm still just hanging off of that dream. To put it more clearly its like a addictive Korean drama that you only get to watch halfway through and then it gets cancelled, and there is no way to see the ending. Basically it kills you.

I do have more than dreams though. Like when i see things in my everyday life they can suddenly seem so magical to me.

raindrops danced as they hurried across the pavement in a torrent of star shaped ripples.

i don't know how to describe it. when it is raining i look up into the sky and i can see the raindrops coming down, but i can't remember them coming down because I'm too busy looking down at the pavement, where the water collects a bit and each raindrop seems to make it appear as though tiny little stars (which are actually just the places where the fallen water splashes) are dancing along the pavement, or the concrete. Its so pretty and captivating. It looks as though they are flowing down a river in a certain direction - what ever direction i imagine them to be going, and i can change it if i like as well.

a few months ago i went outside during the night after it had finished raining and when i looked up into the tree outside the back room, it looked as though it had stars on it. This was just because it was covered in rain drops and the light from the back room was shining through it, making it look magical. All i could see was the black silhouette of the trees branches against the dark night sky (though the sky was a lighter shade than the tree) and on those branches were tiny little diamonds or stars. I love that tree, it is so beautiful when covered in water droplets in the sun or night.

I wish i could remember more things but i just can't on the spot. I should really write down what i see and how i see it. I wonder a lot whether people see the same things that i do, and appreciate it as much as i do but i guess ill never really know.. Do other people see the beauty in the fading golden sunset light filtering through lace curtains, leaving flowery shadows on the wall? Meh, i suck at explaining things, but the things that i see, though they are so simple, seem to be so beautiful its like i can feel my heart overflowing with joy. Its like God has given me this gift, and the gift is just that i am able to see and love simply beautiful things, and because of that gift i know that even if my whole life falls to ruins, i will still be happy, even from the memory of those beautiful things. I don't know its hard to explain. All i know is that i am thankful to God for so much and it makes me love Him more and more each day.

crappy dreams that i want to remember anyway

ok so two dreams :
first i dreamt that i was Marilyn Monroe and i can't really remember the whole dream but the ending of it was this - i was suddenly aware that i was now Marilyn Monroe and i knew she ended up dying - and i was so scared i didn't want to die and i knew that this guy with brown hair (who was a twin of the guy who was at my house) was trying to kill me. So i was trying to figure out which one of them was which when i figured i needed to get away from there. so i got to the end of my driveway when a car pulled up and one of the twins was driving the car and they were really nice and told me to get in the car and i had a feeling it was the evil twin but i got in the car any way thinking that i could get away later on but then he started speeding like hell and i was trying to keep calm and casually say hey don't you think you should slow down - cause i didn't want him to know that i knew he was trying to kill me but that was when he pulled out a gun and ordered me to scream. So i screamed as loud as i could and he was like what kind of scream was that? do it louder and for longer this time and so i tried to but i remembered that my voice was sore and so this time screaming really hurt and i couldn't really do it and after i finished i cried and said to him that I'm sorry but i couldnt do it louder, and my voice had faded away entirely and was really sore so he knew that i could hardly talk now. That was when i realised that he only wanted me to scream then so that when he was doing some real shit then i wouldn't be able to scream for help then. So anyway suddenly it wasn't the middle of the day anymore it was the middle of the night and we had only gotten to the main street (which is two blocks away from my house) when i managed to jump out of the car when we got to a round about- and i ran for it past these shops and then i remembered the toy shop (that was there when i was a kid but not anymore) and i remembered that at night the toys would all be alive and they could help me and suddenly he was mr potato head, and before i ran into it he yelled haha you can go in there but you do realise the place is full of other potato heads just like me but i thought the other toys could help me anyway and so i ran into it and (btw the guy got out and was chasing me the whole time) when i got inside the whole shop was like the kindie from toy story 3 and i tried screaming for help but my voice was gone and he came up behind me and grabbed me and all the other toys were staring at me and all i could think of was where is woody? he would help me but he's not here! and i tried telling other toys what was going on and mr potato head was just like don't listen to her! she's a tad tired and crazy at the moment and he tried pulling me out of the shop but the other toys wouldn't let me go - they wanted to know what was the matter and i thought that i was saved but then he suggested why don't we let her have a rest while he explains whats going on and the other mr potato heads offered to take me out back so i could rest in the dark storage room and though i kicked and tried to scream the other toys thought it was a good idea so they lead me out and at that moment i knew how miss Marilyn Monroe died, it was the mr potato heads that suffocated her. And that was when i woke up.


i have no idea why i dreamt i was Marilyn Monroe - i don't even like her! i mean i don't dislike her either but i don't even give her the time of day to think about, except when i might randomly see a nice picture of her and think she looks pretty. other than that - i don't give a shit. Now that i had that dream though, i do feel sorry that she committed suicide. I have no idea what was up with my dream though, i know how she died so it was a really random dream!!!



second dream: i can't really remember it all that well. It had a bit of a story line too which was weird, and i don't mean it was like my other dreams where everything seemed to go in a flow, i mean this seriously started out as a story - the first part of it was where i was a girl and i was sad and lonely and i was gross looking too. i had no friends - what i remember this part as being like was - i was wearing a black dress and i was wearing boots and my white legs stuck out in the night sky and there were stars in the sky and my hair was greasy and gross looking - but during the whole dream sometimes my hair would be my natural gingery blonde and other times it would be black - i dunno, it was weird. Any way this part of my dream i was singing in opera lol about how sad and lonely i was, and apparently the day before a really cute guy had smiled at me and all i remember singing in my dream was "and he was beautiful, and he was beautiful" haha just remembering it makes me laugh so hard ROFL!!!!! its so embarrassing i can't believe i dreamt that hahaha um i can't really remember what happened after that but I'm pretty sure this whole dream played out mostly in that one night and then till the next day - and a lot happened in that time. Like i can't remember but that night i mustve had a shower or something cause somehow i had fell in love with a guy (though i have no memory of it), and then i must of split into two people because next moment i was watching the dream play out as a different person, watching what happened to me as i walked besides me giving my comments whenever i wanted to.

The only thing i remember after singing is walking next to myself down this street and this witch came up to me - not me but the other me who fell in love not split me, and offered me this steaming hot coffee cup - but inside wasn't coffee it looked like fanta, and the coffee cup was like the starbucks one except it was all white and on the outside was a black circle with a hexagon inside with a slash through the middle. Dunno, anyway she offered it to me - ok I'm going to refer to me - the one I'm watching as ranga and split me as ginga. So she offered it to ranga and she said it was a potion to make you have an abortion if you were pregnant (like drink it and it'll kill the baby inside of you)- and not only did i (as ginga) think that this was like snow white and the witch - i was thinking that the potion was probably poison and it will kill you if you drank it more quickly then give you an abortion - but i was also thinking about how i was against abortions and i never had sex with him anyway so i wasn't pregnant anyway - THEN YOU KNOW WHAT~ THAT BLOODY RANGA TOOK A SIP! as if to say she was pregnant that idiot!!! i don't even know what i was thinking! but nothing happened after that except i think a couple of my ex boyfriends turned up - the ones i made that night before i met the guy i was in love with at that moment. Yep. this night was long and i was moving fast through relationships. i don't even remember it happening - but i think at the moment in my dream i had decided it had happened already. anyway one of them was huge! like i remember in my dream thinking he could be a sumo wrestler- i think this is the only reason why i remembered him- he was samoan and he had telekinesis - cause when i went passed the dairy he started making pies and lollie bags n shit fly at me as if to attack me cause he hated me for breaking his heart. LOL!!!

no but after that i can't really remember, it was morning by this time something about nazis being at this park across the road from where i live, and hitler was going to attack anyone who came inside. so i was on the outskirts of it and i was about to go in when i met the caretaker or grounds maintenance - and he was seriously cute! like omg if i ever saw a guy that looked like this in real life i would walk up to him on the street and try to ask him out :D but anyway he was like hey and shook my hand and introduced himself as teddy (and he was wearing a dungaree with a grey t shirt) and before this time the two "me" had become one again, and so i decided at that moment i had broken up with my other boyfriend and so teddy asked me to marry him and i said yes. So all our family and friends came to that field and hitler had died so we were safe and we started to have the wedding. And i was in my pretty white lace dress and he was all good looking with his curly blonde hair in his dungaree at the altar with the priest and that was when i started to come up the altar and i happened to look up to the beautiful sunrise in the sky and for some reason my mind broke. And i started screaming and tearing at my clothes and pulling out my hair and i fell backward and some men held both of my arms up so i wouldn't fall (i think it was my brothers) and i was screaming "NOOOOOOOOO" while i was thinking "not another beautiful sunset!!! i don't want anymore beautiful sunsets!!!" which was weird since it was a sunrise - and the clouds and colours were indicating that it would be a beautiful day so that was making me even more terrified and sad and i was thinking "noooooo! i want a grey cloudy day! no more beautiful sunsets!!!" but nobody else had any clue what was going on so everyone thought i was like this cause i didn't want to marry Teddy. So he came up to me while i was screaming and i had no idea he thought i hated him., and i had no idea what was going on since all i could think about was how i was so sick of sunsets. and he took off his earrings that i had got him and they were silver studs (cause we didn't have rings we had earrings) and i took out my pearl ones and i threw them and the wedding earrings from the purple cushion on the ground and he looked so sad as he said goodbye T_T [now in real life i can't help but think NO my dream boy come back T_T]

so next thing i can remember I had realised what happened and i was two persons again, except ranga was in a tv and ginga had the remote control ;) and i remember i think ginga had explained to ranga what had happened and ranga had gone back to the field and found the three sets of earrings and i sort of cried then. Then i found out from ginga where teddy was and so ranga went to the train station, where like all the trains could go anywhere in the world, and i was there to get teddy back but i had no idea where he was or where he was going, all i knew was that he was leaving from there. and so i was standing on this series of staircases trying to look at all the peoples faces trying to look for him - cause all the people coming and going from the trains had to pass through there. And i looked so pretty, i had my hair up and it was ginger again with curls coming out of the up do and i was wearing this tight blue shirt that was shoulder-less with long sleeves and this tight skirt that had pink floral design. but i was so scared i was going to miss him, and i though i saw him for a moment so i ran down the staircase (which was well lit since it was midday day and the walls were glass - like my old school "tower", and then i realised it wasn't him and thats when the witch from the market came up again so i was stuck on the stairs with her offering me some magic to find my true love and i was kind of interested since i thought it could help me find him, BUT THAT WAS WHEN HE CAME UP BEHIND ME! and since it was so crowded he was stuck behind me and he didn't know it was me, and he was like "hey look sexy, you may smell sweet but can you fuck off out of the way?!" (the the ginga me that was watching was like "THATS HIM! LOOK BEHIND YOU!!!!" while i was also thinking "seriously i love THIS guy? he's an asshole!) and ranga i glanced behind at him, i was going to say something mean back, but before i could get a good look at him the witch said something else and i looked back at her and he quickly shoved past me, still not knowing it was me, and continued down the stairs while i still talked to the witch, and me, ginga who was watching this was horrified cause even though i was a bit pissed at him i still knew i loved him and wanted to find him, and so i was screaming at the screen that it was him and thats when i heard me, and ranga realised it was him and started running down and i couldn't find him, so me ginga rewound the video and instead of watching me i watched where he went (btw he was wearing this really ugly peach shirt with pink sunsets and palm trees on it - which made me think even more what do i see in this guy, besides from the fact that he was a fitty) and i tried to tell me where he was but when i got to where he was a moment ago he was gone and i couldn't find him again on the tape :( and that was it. I woke up after that. I tried to go back to sleep but it never really worked out, i sort of dreamed i caught up with him and swore at him, why the fuck didn't he ask me what was going on, what i did didn't mean i hated him, i was just having a seizure and why didn't he worry more about me when i acted like that? and he just said nothing, standing there looking at me (more like glaring but whatever) and i said "you know what, if you don't want to be with me fine, but i just want you to know that i love you and always will, and if you want to be with me even a little let me know now or ill leave and ill never bother you again", and he said "is that all?" and i just said "fine. goodbye teddy. i love you." and walked away. and i went straight to the market to where the witches stall was and knowing that the fanta really wasn't a potion to get abortions but that it was truly poison i drank the whole lot, but what i hadn't realised was that he had stood there for a minute after i left then took off in the direction i went trying to catch up but by the time he got to me i had already drank it all and was almost dead on the ground. so he held me in his arms and i told him i loved him and died. then he tried to drink the last drop in the potion but it was all gone :( so that was it, i woke up again after that.

Damn i wish i could come up with happy ending for that :[ cause it really frustrates me, that i have no control over my dreams. I think the reason why i started to scream at the sunrise was cause it reminded me of that dream of the sunset with the bull - and i kind of knew from there it was going to turn into a nightmare and i didn't want it to cause i liked what was happening. I think i also realised it was a dream at that point and i didn't want it to be - because teddy was so cute. I think i liked him so much since he reminded me of someone i knew in real life. Emphasis on "reminded", I've never seen or met anyone who has looked like that before. I also tried to come up with another ending since i didn't like that ending either but when i fell asleep it only landed me in the south island of new zealand, chasing him and then having some sort of thing wrong with me where i started having another screaming fit but this time blood came out of my ears, eyes, nose and mouth and i ended up dying in his arms again. ITS LIKE ME AND MY DREAM GUY ARE NOT MEANT TO BE T_T but *sigh* i think its just as well. I kinda find guys with blonde hair gross anyway, it would have never worked out. but i still can't get over the fact that because he no longer loved me i went and drank the poison - like seriously in real life if a guy i loved didn't love me back I'm not pathetic enough to go and kill myself. This dream also really frustrates me since i was not acting like myself half the time, i was doing things that i would never do! bleh! I'm only writing this dream down since there are a few things in it that i don't want to forget - like the outfits and the fact that i screamed I'm sick of sunsets - which is amazing! they are like my favourite things in the world- and sun rises. Am i truly sick of them? maybe i am and i just haven't realised it yet :T i don't know! i still feel the dream haunting me and its like i can feel that emotion hanging on my heart - of dreading sunsets :T i wonder what tomorrow will be like?

tomorrow: i still love sunsets, seriously, what was so bad about them when i was sleeping?


x g!nge~

just remember these!

So i don't really have time to write these dreams down now but i don't really want to forget about it yet. There are two dreams that i want to remember, the first one: i don't really care about the whole dream, its just that one part where i walk out onto the old steps of my house, (the ones that are now gone) where i can see the sunset from. Its the most beautiful sunset i have ever seen, even though it wasn't even real. Just those colours of blue .... at the top, ranging from light to dark ~ like how it is on a beautiful sunny day. then there were white cumulus clouds stretching over the horizon, dark at the bottom but lit up and golden at the top. And the sun ... peaking out just over the church ... a golden light that just lit up the whole sky. It was so .... beautiful. I just find it so funny that at that point in my dream, just before i stepped out of the door onto the steps, i was thinking to myself that i knew i was dreaming, and i had to wake up in the morning. But it felt so real...and as i was stepping through the door i was telling myself to wake up!! But just as i was thinking "how do i wake myself up?" I saw that sunset and i just froze. And then suddenly i thought to myself ... "no, i don't want to wake up. I'm just going to sit on these steps like i did when i was younger and watch the sunset." And for a few moments, i felt like i was watching heaven. But then that stupid black bull appeared in front of me and i was so scared that it would see me and attack that i just stayed still and thought, "OK now i want to wake up". And i thought that if i stayed absolutely still it wouldn't see me, and then it jumped into the ground, which should have been the ground but suddenly the ground was water, and although it still looked like the ground and the hedge was there, it was peaking and troughing like waves. And it swam for a bit then surfaced and shook its head to get the water off, and the sunset was still there, and i was thinking to myself maybe i could sneak in the doorway when it wasn't looking. But it was moving so fast and turning around all the time i realized i couldn't do that or it would see me and it would get to me before i even had a chance to get in the door way. So then i just thought maybe ill wait for it to leave and while i was waiting i could watch the sunset. So there i sat, though every two seconds i looked back at it to check where the bull was. And after that the dream went somewhere else while i tried to wake myself up. Which reminds me i have to look that up! And it also reminds me of a dream i had about a year back where sharks swam in the air, and they couldn't go in water, and the ground everywhere had turned into water, so to get to one house to the next you had to get on a boat. And the only way to get away from sharks when they attacked was to jump in the water haha Don't really remember much from that dream though besides from that.

And the other dream i want to remember is the fairy dream. DO NOT forget about that! Maybe i should go into detail on that one ... basically ill start from before i even fell asleep: I had gotten into bed and lay down and i must of fell asleep instantly because i was thinking about how crappy i think my life is at the moment. I haven't been able to find a job for almost a year now, and I'm so sick of basically being called a bum. I was wishing i could get out of this lifestyle when i wished i could leave here forever. And that was when i pretty much had this great idea that i should runway to fairy land. I used to be obsessed with fairies when i was a kid, so i *knew* that if you ever eat or drink anything in fairy land then you can NEVER return to earth. So i got up out of bed, got ready, packed my bag full of things i thought i might need, and the bag sort of shrunk to the size of this old purple velvet pouch i had as a kid and i put the long cords around my neck. It was midnight but the moment i walked out the door the sun was rising, and it was my favorite kind of morning where the sunlight was filtering through the tree which was laden down with dew drops, which made the tree look like it was full of diamonds. The whole place was filled with sunlight which made everything seem like it was in a golden haze. I walked down the pathway through the garden and into my back yard (which is quite big). I walked through the garden, trees, and past the chicken pen, right to the back of my property where there's like this bush/jungle type area. For some reason i knew exactly where the entrance to fairy land was, and i think in my dream i could sense the fairies knew i wanted to go to fairy land so i could hear them talking, whispering and laughing (just like how i could as a kid).

 So i went to the corner of the bush area and crawled through the little hole in the bush that i had always crawled through as a kid (in real life i cant fit through it anymore) and came to this tree stump. There used to be this extremely tall tree at the end of my house when i was a kid, you could see it from anywhere in the whole suburb where i live, and it used to be easy to point out from like one tree hill, but it was cut down when i was in my teens, and since it was such a huge tree it had left this stump as big as a table. I tried to have picnics on it, and so in my dream there was the table cloth on it that i had wanted to use as a kid, and sitting round the stump having tea with jam on toast and having a good old debate was a hedgehog, a lizard, a sparrow and one of my mums ginger chickens. I sat down to join them and we were talking about something when they asked me what i was doing and i said i was going to fairy land. They were all shocked and warned me not to eat the food or i would be lost to the faeries forever and i remember saying i don't care I'm still going and they tried to persuade me otherwise, which got me really angry so i got up in a huff and stalked over to the entrance of fairy land, which was like a through this narrow part right at the back of our property which was covered in vines. I slipped in though and looked around and ...omfg i cant remember! I don't think i can remember anymore ... i remember at some point in the dream  i fell through these books and instead of falling *on* the books i fell *through* them and the books and i kept on falling through this void till i ended up in this dark pit. But that was when i was trapped in the sorcerer's cave. Some of its coming back to me now... when i started walking through fairy land i had ran into this ..i don't know what you call them. I thought they were brownies but they must be called something else cause when i looked up brownies that wasn't them. I used to know what they were when i was a kid. Basically they look like male faeries, but they have rows of sharp teeth and sharp fingernails. This one looked like this guy i knew, who is the son of a  friend of the family. In my dream his hair was really dark brown (but its not in real life) and his skin was more tanned than usual. He was wearing this brown shirt and he was smiling at me (like he always does, but with rows of sharp teeth).

I already knew what he was in my dream, and i knew how they ripped your heart out from you chest with their claws and ate it while it was still pumping while you watched them do it as you died. He was saying sweet things to me, trying to make me come closer but i freaked out and started running for it. In real life he is a faster runner than me and he started laughing as he came after me, and he was like "woohoo" as he ran saying "you know you cant get away from me!". I kinda knew that he was just playing with me now, cause he knew he could catch me so he was just savoring the chase. I saw this cave and i just darted straight for it. I thought i could hide from him there but then i remembered that they had a great sense of smell and could smell me out so i tried to sneak back out but then i saw him heading straight for me. I ran deeper into the cave and found that it just kept on going, i couldn't see a thing but my footsteps echoed around me, so i just kept running for it. I could hear him behind me screaming "NOOO! Come back here!" and as i kept running i heard his footsteps get further and further away till they finally stopped. I wondered why he stopped but up ahead i started to see a light, and i just bolted for it. I got closer and closer till finally i came to the end of the cave, and it turned and opened into this huge room. I remember the fire blazing in the fireplace, and some things about the room, pillars carved out of rock, candles everywhere with wax dripping down, books every where and these weird metal instruments, some i recognized as measuring things. I don't remember much at this point except that i found out it belonged to a sorcerer, he had long straight black hair to his waist, light blue eyes and really white skin (shaped like jaco van den hovens eyes but he didn't look like him). All i remember was that he was totally horrible, and that's when i fell through the books after arguing with him.

I cant remember much after that. I f anything ever comes back to me ill update this. But other than that~ that's it :( OMG i wish i could remember more!

Monday 26 august :

two things i remember about this dream : One was that when i first stepped into fairy land it looked like the cover of this book i used to have as a wee kid. All the pages were see through but they had paintings of a hill, a tree or a duck on it and each time you turned a page it revealed the hill behind the front one. It was so cool and i completely forgot about it! I cant believe i dreamt of it being fairy land haha.
Another thing i remember was that in the sorcerers fire place were fire salamanders. I remember now because they were what was making the fire blaze so brightly. They were just lazing around in the fire, sometimes one crawling on top of another to sleep better.