Day dreams~~

so last night i can't actually remember my dream - but i remember how i started off day dreaming before i fell asleep - i was fishing :D but this is going to be a bit difficult to explain! i was fishing but i was trying to catch a star (they were like moving around, looking so pretty but they wouldn't come near my hook! I was sitting on a cloud - but i was upside down - it was like gravity didn't exist cause i was sitting under the cloud but that was on top to me, and my feet were hanging off the edge and i was swinging them, looking down into the sea of stars, and when i looked up i could see earth and the ground above haha, and all the clouds had fluffy white wings and they were flying upside down compared to the earth - but to me they were the right way up. And everything had a blue tint to it as it was brilliantly lit up by the huge moon amongst the stars. it looked so big and was so close i felt like i could jump onto it. When i looked up to the ground (i was like in a planes aerial view from the earth - like 40,000 ft above or wat evs) i decided to go up(down?) to it and so i put my fishing rod on the cloud (which was like the fishing rods i used to have as a kid - me and my brother used to find really long sticks, tie a fishing line to the end of it then at the other end of the line a hook and sinker :] used to work a charm!) and i jumped into the sky (but remember the sky to me is earth) and instead of gravity pulling me back down to the cloud - i started to fall with a incredible speed to the earth and i could feel it pulling on every part of my body like my heart was going to stop. i think i fell asleep then cause i can't remember anything else.

i wish i could remember more dreams. I do remember bits and pieces of certain dreams, but they become so fuzzy, and to just write down little bits of dreams i remember rather than the whole story lines seems to be a waste of time and space.. i just hate unfinished stories, or stories that finish with no real ending, they leave like a hole in your heart and a sense of loss or longing, and i can't bare that feeling! I also hate it when dreams don't resolve themselves, dreams seem to take a hold over your heart, whether they are good or bad. I guess you could say i like going to sleep at night because i get excited about what i am going to dream that night, but when it turns out to be a nightmare or if it doesn't finish, it just feels so horrible and i feel lost. Its like fir the rest of the day i don't know what to do with myself because I'm still just hanging off of that dream. To put it more clearly its like a addictive Korean drama that you only get to watch halfway through and then it gets cancelled, and there is no way to see the ending. Basically it kills you.

I do have more than dreams though. Like when i see things in my everyday life they can suddenly seem so magical to me.

raindrops danced as they hurried across the pavement in a torrent of star shaped ripples.

i don't know how to describe it. when it is raining i look up into the sky and i can see the raindrops coming down, but i can't remember them coming down because I'm too busy looking down at the pavement, where the water collects a bit and each raindrop seems to make it appear as though tiny little stars (which are actually just the places where the fallen water splashes) are dancing along the pavement, or the concrete. Its so pretty and captivating. It looks as though they are flowing down a river in a certain direction - what ever direction i imagine them to be going, and i can change it if i like as well.

a few months ago i went outside during the night after it had finished raining and when i looked up into the tree outside the back room, it looked as though it had stars on it. This was just because it was covered in rain drops and the light from the back room was shining through it, making it look magical. All i could see was the black silhouette of the trees branches against the dark night sky (though the sky was a lighter shade than the tree) and on those branches were tiny little diamonds or stars. I love that tree, it is so beautiful when covered in water droplets in the sun or night.

I wish i could remember more things but i just can't on the spot. I should really write down what i see and how i see it. I wonder a lot whether people see the same things that i do, and appreciate it as much as i do but i guess ill never really know.. Do other people see the beauty in the fading golden sunset light filtering through lace curtains, leaving flowery shadows on the wall? Meh, i suck at explaining things, but the things that i see, though they are so simple, seem to be so beautiful its like i can feel my heart overflowing with joy. Its like God has given me this gift, and the gift is just that i am able to see and love simply beautiful things, and because of that gift i know that even if my whole life falls to ruins, i will still be happy, even from the memory of those beautiful things. I don't know its hard to explain. All i know is that i am thankful to God for so much and it makes me love Him more and more each day.